Long time, no see.

6:33:00 PM

Well hi. It feels as though this is an actual letter from myself to myself, and I don't know how to explain, but i feel like this blog is me, talking to me, trying to get my thoughts together in small things called words. And I promise, I'm the most talkative (so talkative that it gets annoying) person you could meet, which I'm sure transfers, even a little bit, on these posts... I guess I'll just go with it, see what turns out.

Well, hi, i guess. 
How are you? How have you been for the last.. god knows how many, days, weeks, months?
Are you still feeling like that? Like you've been carrying the weight of your world on your shoulders? Do you still struggle to sleep at night, dreaming about life, dreaming with your eyes wide awake, ears calmly eating away the last masterpiece for the night? Do you still dream fully, with your whole heart about your life? Are you happy? Did you realize all of a sudden all the shit you've been too forgiving to realize? Have you been able to figure yourself out? And lastly, have you been doing what you said and wanted to do? if not, why? if yes. how did it make you feel? Do you believe in love, romance? Do you believe in god? Do you believe in the Universe? Do you believe in yourself? 
Hello.
Honestly, I'm good. I've been so unpredictable lately. Sometimes i get very salty, sometimes i get very sweet. I feel like I need to be more grateful for everything that i have in order to be sweeter, because i don't want to be unappreciative of everything i have, because i know i have lots of stuff to be happy about , and I need to start counting. I think I'm pretty happy and I need to show it and be more grateful and expressive about it. I think self reflection and meditation, as well as exercise help me with doing that. Yes. Often, i feel like there's a bigger weight than mine I've been carrying, and that's probably because of stuff i haven't let go of, and it's time to do just that. Letting go...It's not easy, It's not something i necessarily want really badly, but, I need it like really badly. So I'll find a way to do just that. Going into the future, I have to accept & let go of the past. I know I can't change it, but I can damn sure change the future. Well , it's almost 3AM , so I guess the answer to that question is yes. I'm currently daydreaming at night, 'cause honestly , who hasn't done that? But... I'm a dreamer. And I'm supposed to leave something for the actual sleeping, so I decided to get my shit together, and start a healthy sleeping schedule. I promise I'll do that. And, about the masterpiece, yeah, Humbug is getting eaten, and it's something so purely beautiful. I hope one day, I can do something to gently caress people's ears c:. I feel like i do dream, but not with my whole heart, like i used to. And that definitely needs to change. I need to give myself that passion and believing i used to have... And i will. I still don't know how, but I will. Yes. Yes, and I'm ready to forgive , but I'll never forget. No, and yes. I'm pretty confused, but, I'm getting the hang of life lol. No, and yes. Because I'm lazy and undisciplined, and because I'm learning now. It made me feel damn great. Yes, indeed i do. Yes. Yes. Yes. I have so much more to say, but this is a great start. I love you. <3

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21 comments

  1. This post was very relatable. I think we all feel that desire to be more grateful and to live a happier life...but sometimes it feels difficult to do that. Keep trying and do your best <3
    the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I agree... It gets overwhelming from time to time, but I guess it's part of life. Thank you <3

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  2. Well I do not know what kind of past you have to let go but I can tell you that you ask too many questions and that you should 'turn off' the brain when you sleep because we all need to regenerate and take life a bit 'as it comes , maybe giving it some correction where it is needed but without being too much to regret!
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  4. Very interesting post. I like your blog... kisses

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  5. Such and interesting post dear! Have a great day! xoxo
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  6. ¡Hello!
    Beautiful photos. Great post.
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  7. I feel you in this post. Letting go is the hardest thing to do in life and journaling is the best way to see your path forward. Thanks for sharing!

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  8. That's such a heart-warming and reassuring letter to yourself. Yes you feel there's room for improvement but at least you're making a change, like developing a healthy sleep schedule. Can I ask, how exactly do you do that? I would like to get into the habit of doing something like that as I feel my sleep patterns can improve. Anyway, thanks for pouring your heart and I wish you all the best for your plans for improvement.😊

    #sweetreats xx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. Thank you honey. I'm actually writing a post all about sleep, so I'll just comment it in your blog when i publish it. And thank you too ^^

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  9. Świetny post <3 bardzo mi się podoba :* oraz super blog :) obserwuję i zostaję tu na dłużej :D zapraszam http://mysterious-natalia.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you honey! I appreciate it sooo so much :*

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